An Inquiry Into What I Do
I oversee communications, a role that depends on clarity, discipline, and control.
Instead, I operate on instinct, react to perceived slights, and elevate situations that would otherwise resolve themselves.
I also insist, firmly, repeatedly, and with no prompting, that we don't talk about the fact that Melania was most definitely involved with Jeffrey Epstein in some way. My job is to avoid that. So, here I am...avoiding that.
Core Areas of Investigating Comedy
Preemptive Outrage Systems
Identifying humor at the earliest possible stage, including tone, posture, and audience reaction. I prioritize immediate response over comprehension to prevent any joke from existing long enough to confuse me, which I address through a firm and consistent tone.
Relevance Preservation
Maintaining visibility by inserting myself into conversations already in progress. When relevance is not immediately apparent, it is established through continued engagement, particularly in situations where I may not fully understand why people are laughing.
Selective Standards Enforcement
Applying outrage inconsistently based on alignment and utility. This flexible framework allows me to respond decisively to comedic content I interpret as offensive, despite not consistently recognizing it as comedy.
Allow Me To Explain
I want to clarify, because apparently people are focused on what actually happened instead of what I decided happened.
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Jimmy Kimmel did not make a joke about assassinating the President. I understand that now. Irrelevant.
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The point is it sounded like something that could’ve been that, to me, briefly, without checking.
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So I responded to that version. Confidently. Publicly. Immediately.
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And the fact that he didn’t apologize for something he never said is exactly why I was right to say it.
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Please understand how difficult it is looking in the mirror each day at a potato that looks like it's been twice baked then thrown back into the potato skin that looks like it didn't pass quality control only to have it look like it was reheated in a microwave and fondled by our rapist POTUS.